my heart is HEAVY
My heart is just extremely heavy right now. I have 2 best girlfriends that have been trying to get prego ~ one for almost 2 years and the other for 16 months...and it just kills me every month when I get the sad news. I was looking forward all week to hear the good news from one of them...and sure enough, the test came back with a big fat - on it. She is a woman full of life and full of optimism. I admire her patience and her determination as each month passes. I truly believe that she is in fact going to get prego; it's only a matter of time. She is an amazing woman, with an amazing hubby who loves & truly cares about her. We were hoping to be prego together and in fact had a pact that if we weren't prego by Jan 2008 we were going to all hop on an Cruise and have some fun...well, I broke that pact in Sept 2008 and I have to share that when I told my girlfriend she was probably one of the most excited of anyone that we shared the news with! I was very cautious when I told her, only because I knew her desire to be prego...but she was as ecstatic as could be and I loved her even more for sharing that joy with me. Dear friend, I love you and I know you are going to be one AMAZING Mama!
Another sweet girlfriend will find out in a few more days, however she said the test said the stupid "negative" on it once again. I just loved on her. It is the most agonizing thing to watch a friend go through. You don't know what to say at times. You don't even know how to act, you just listen.
This year started off with me having 4 girlfriends that were unable to conceive, praise the Lord that one (after 3 years & 5 IVF's later) is now 14 weeks along in her pregnancy! The other is fostering a child right now and plans to adopt shortly. It makes me sad as I can relate to all of their hearts desires as this was one HUGE dream for me and I cannot even begin to imagine having that dream not become a reality. I know surrogacy is always on option, but us maternal gals dream to carry that baby. We dream to have killer cravings, to not be able to sleep on our bellies any longer, to get fat, to not be able to shave our legs by ourselves anymore, but more importantly we dream to feel our baby in us, to feel our baby kick & move around in us...that is our heart's desire. For some it is just another thing off the adult checklist, but not for these women...it is a passion.
It really hurts me when I hear of someone that is expecting, yet doesn't even want the baby or isn't in a relationship where that baby is going to be unconditionally loved. I'm tired of all the excuses. Nobody takes responsibility. Now being a parent I realize it takes so much more than you ever could imagine to raise a human being. Everyone always says "all you need is love"...that is so not true!!!! Love is definitely the foundation, but it takes selflessness, patience, encouragement and the most important of all ~ faith...you cannot do this alone. A child needs both a Mother & Father. There is a reason God created both man and woman, because we are better working together than apart.
I was at Target a month or so ago and I passed these 2 young gals that were joking about an abortion and I just wanted to cry...I was literally stunned that they were joking about such a topic. I could not believe they were taking it so lightly. I do not believe either of them had an abortion because I can guarantee they wouldn't have been giggling about it. " What were they thinking" I began to think..."why would they be 'giggling' about it??" I will never know, but it just goes to show what our world has come to.
These 2 girlfriends of mine ARE both going to be AMAZING Mommies! They have solid marriages with spouses that absolutely adore them. When those babies do make their appearance they are going to be very lucky & blessed kiddos! Please keep these gals and other women that cannot get pregnant easily. It just breaks my heart.
Please remember these gals in your prayers...and every other gal out there that is having conception mishaps.
I love you gals and we are here for you. xoxo